you know what constantly blew my mind as a child
in movies when a character is looking straight into their reflection in a mirror
how does the camera not show up in the mirror
actually never mind about the whole “as a child” business i still haven’t figured this shit out
Committing suicide is a crime in the US not so that we can punish the depressed, but because, if it weren’t, it would be illegal for the police to enter a home to save someone they suspected was about to kill themselves.
There has to be reasonable belief that a crime is currently being committed or is about to be committed for the police to enter private property.
My mom told me to “find a man who respects you like a sea captain respects the sea.” A man who looks at you with awe and reverence but knows you are a force of nature. I like that.
STOP SAYING A VAGINA IS LOOSE BECAUSE OF A LOT OF SEX.
VAGINAS ALWAYS SHRINK TO THEIR USUAL TIGHTNESS AFTER SEX.
PENISES DO NOT STRETCH THEM OUT OF SHAPE AT ALL
THE VAGINA IS A REALLY STRONG MUSCLE NOT A FLABBY PIECE OF SKIN
WHEN A DUDE BRAGS ABOUT HOW TIGHT A VAGINA WAS
HE’S LITERALLY BRAGGING ABOUT HOW HE COULDN’T GET HIS PARTNER AROUSED.
WOW 4 FOR YOU, BOY.
there was a girl on my bus who was on tumblr and i looked at her and said “tumblr is the worst thing that has ever happened to me” and she looked at me and said “i know i follow you”
she walked up to me in the hallway and said “I saw your text post”
You don’t have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off. And while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the baby’s soft cartilage head into something a little more modern. It might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but let’s see where the dog is going with this.